Divorce can be devastating.
It can mean losing your best friend and leaving you confused about the past and the future.
Without the right support, it’s easy to feel lonely, desperate, or even depressed.
However, it’s important to remember that your divorce can be a good thing and that you haven’t lost everything, even if you feel like you have right now.
Living in a period of transition can seem scary, but it will eventually lead to great things.
Though we can’t guide you through a breakup or offer you a shoulder to cry on, we can give you some tips and tricks on getting over your divorce and learning to feel like “you” again…
Jet off on a fancy holiday
Jetting off to a far-away location or somewhere remote and quiet is a great way to distract yourself from the pain of your divorce, especially if you can fill every minute of your day.
Set up camp by the beach with a good book and your favourite cocktail, and have some well-needed “me” time to relax, unwind, and focus on recovering from your break-up.
Though we don’t recommend spending every waking minute alone, a solo holiday can be a brilliant way to reawaken the senses and realise that there’s a whole world out there.
Too often we focus on our own lives and bubbles, so stepping out of your comfort zone can give you some food for thought and put your relationship into perspective. Life isn’t over!
Start saying “yes”
If you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship where you’ve had to make compromises, start saying yes to any and every opportunity that presents itself to you.
Couples often have to compromise and negotiate, meaning limiting where you eat, where you go and who you socialise with.
Tearing up the rulebook and trying something new is a great way to mark the start of a new chapter, meet new people, and experience new things.
Whether you go on a health retreat, join friends at a cookery class or spend the evening dancing in a nightclub, there’s no reason why you should say no if you want to say yes.
Eat on your own
Whether you order from your favourite Chinese restaurant or prepare a home-cooked dish, have a meal at the table on your own and sit in silence.
Maybe, but it allows you to become more comfortable with your newfound singledom rather than sitting in the dark with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
If you’re feeling brave, try that new restaurant in town without worrying about a plus one.
The experience may be unusual and perhaps a little daunting at first, but you’ll be able to focus on enjoying the interior, ambience and your food – and chuckle away at the dining couples who have no conversation skills and will soon be filing for their own divorce!
Take a social media detox
It’s all too tempting to stalk your ex on social media and see what they’re getting up to.
If possible, block them, or at least remove them as a friend so you can’t see their profile.
Want to totally wipe the slate clean?
Go through your public photo albums and remove any reference of your previous partner, not only to symbolically say goodbye to the past but to prepare for your next adventure.
Better yet? Take a total break from social media.
When your break-up is still raw, the last thing you want to see is friends announcing their engagements and pregnancies.
Take a step back until you’re in a better headspace, and take a book to bed instead of your phone.
Spend time outdoors
It sounds cliché, but spending time outdoors is a great way to clear your head.
Whether it’s the height of the summer or it’s bucketing down with rain, explore your area and go on long walks to spend some time with yourself.
It’s amazing what a good walk can do for your mental health.
Not only is the fresh air great for you, but having time to think away from the distractions of computers and television can help you come to terms with your situation much faster.
Flash the cash
Retail therapy really works!
According to one report, women spend more when they go on a shopping trip after breaking up with their partner than they would on any other occasion, stocking up on new clothes and accessories to help them get over their break-up.
If you’re feeling down, head to your local mall and treat yourself to that new dress or a new pair of shoes to brighten up your mood and give your wardrobe some much-needed TLC.
Some people even decide to donate all of their old clothes to charity when they break up with their partner and reinvent themselves with new outfits – something you could consider.
If you don’t have the imagination or budget to do that, then consider replacing old pieces that have memories attached to them one at a time until you’ve overhauled your wardrobe.
Improve your look
There’s no better way to announce you’re over your ex than by improving your look.
Spend time focusing on you, whether that’s splashing out on new makeup palettes, visiting the salon for a haircut or using Oralift, the device that’s designed to reduce and delay the signs of facial ageing naturally.
Indeed, rather than opting for an expensive – and risky – facelift, Oralift users wear a device once every three days, and have reported a whole host of benefits.
Those benefits include reduced lines around the mouth, eyes, and face, reduced under-eye bags, increased fullness of the lips and more prominent cheekbones.
There’s no better way to get over your divorce than to focus on yourself. The better you feel, the more confidence you’ll gain, and eventually, you’ll be ready to put yourself out there…
Finally, consider putting yourself back on the market – but only when you feel like it.
There’s a saying about getting over someone – it takes half the time you spent together to move on. Studies have suggested otherwise, in that it takes 18 months to get over an ex.
The truth is that every person is different, and no two relationships are the same, but you should exercise caution before downloading Tinder or letting friends set you up on a blind date. If you’re not ready, don’t force it: the time will come, you’ve just got to be patient.
Once you feel that you’re capable of seeing someone new, take it easy and forget about your previous relationships. Remember, you’re not looking for a replacement, but instead, a fulfilling relationship with a partner who is warm, cooperative and emotionally stable.
Take some photographs, say yes to dates, and see what happens! The more attention you get from potential love interests, the easier it’ll be to get over your ex and realise that there are plenty more (compatible) fish in the sea. Best of luck in your search for a new beau!
There you have it – eight ways to put your past behind you and move on from your partner.